Hold my hand, its not that bad.

I sometimes sit in my room alone and I can hear my roommates in their rooms with their significant others; talking, laughing, watching a movie. I look around me and feel a void, a lack of presence in the room. I want to hold someone's hand, I want to look across the table at someone and know they care, I want that at ease feeling where you feel safe.

I get upset at myself when I have this feeling. I like to think of myself as an independent woman but I realize I am just trying to embody my older sister's personality. I've been fighting their shadow my whole life and here I am actually striving for it. Its funny how the world works.

This year is going to be different. Come hold my hand, I promise it wont be so bad.