12.24.09

I consider myself a pretty selfless person, or at least a considerate person so people tend to tell me that I need to do things to make myself happy, not to make others happy. As I am searching for this balance, I have to say I need to concentrate more on my studies. The way I will do this is by thinking about my dad. After he told me that all he wanted to do was see me graduate before he passes, makes me regret how much I neglected school this past semester to do things I thought would make me happy. So this upcoming semester is going to be really tough for me because I will start taking more and harder classes for my major, pledging, working, trying to maintain better relationships with my old friends, and try to come home more for my dad. That's a lot to do in one semester and I dont know how I am going to do it but I need to.

Sitting in that hospital waiting room made me realize that if I lost my dad, I wouldnt feel like I made him proud enough. That there were so many things I could have done better, not done at all. I just want to be an overall better person. Hopefully I can do this...

Oh Yeah, Merry Christmas everyone :)

12.17.09

I dont know if its because I've been hanging out with koreans like OD but I've been listening to TaeYang a lot more (the ONLY Kpop singer I listen to, actually make that the only foreign singer I listen to regularly) and I decided to check out the translation. One of my favorite songs Look at Me has a totally different meaning than I thought it originally had! :( I thought it was about how he wanted this girl to look at him because he <3 her.

IT’S BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A WHILE
GOT TO LET IT OUT FROM MY CHEST
BEFORE…IT’S TOO LATE

(I CAN’T LET YOU GO
YOU GOT TO LET HIM GO
I CAN’T LET YOU GO
YOU GOT TO…LISTEN)
Everytime i see you i smile
I’ve said it hundreds of times You’re the love of my life
In the world of lies, my burdened soul
I only believe in you
Sometimes you get anxious that my heart will change
I smiled and said nothing like that would happen
A never ending path, my empty heart
The only path i’ll take is yours
Sometimes i hate myself when i second guess myself
Today i wipe you away from my life again

Even if i cheat, dont ever cheat baby
Even if i forget you, dont ever forget me lady
Sometimes when i dont call and drink alcohol
By chance if i ever meet eyes with another girl, you only look at me.

You stayed up all night again and waited for me
You told me with your tears that you think my heart changed
But i said my feelings for you are still the same
All those nights we were together
I think it’ll be hard for me without you
Because of you, i find it hard to breathe
Endless struggle, long sighs
The only path i’ll take is yours
I hate that I’m starting to get tired of you
Without thinking, i forget you again

I know that i can’t make up my mind
In all of my meaningless time
Like this, I become dirty, baby
I want you to stay innocent forever
This is the truth, my belief in you
Even if you die, please don’t leave me

Oh HELLS no...

Back to listening to Wedding Dress....

12.15.09

Guilt. :(

Its been killing me. I want to do so many things for people but I just dont have enough time and energy to accommodate everyone.

I've changed since last year and I dont think its for the better and I dont know what to do to get back, if I even want to get back. I've done things this year that I would not condone last year. I'm even ashamed of some of it. -__-

I've lost in touch with people I care about and I feel so bad but I feel like dug myself in a hole and I cant get out.

My standards are lower, my expectations of myself and others are lower. I need time to rethink and get back to what I used to know, what I used to believe.

Maybe this life isnt for me.

12.11.09

Time is the most valuable thing to give and take from someone.

Selfishness and complaints at this time will make me turn into an ILL bitch.

I cant have anymore people disappoint me. Its sad that I hold lower expectations for people and they still dont uphold them.

12.6.09

I feel like I'm stuck in this rut in between a crossing in the road of life. I dont know what to do and have so many conflicting thoughts. Selfishness and selflessness.

I would like to believe that I'm selfless most of the time but human nature is self driven, always looking out for number 1, so I question people's true intentions.

Despite being in the midst of final season, I've been in this rut that I've mentioned before. I cannot do any work and spend the day sleeping and depressed. Things just pile up and I end up making excuses to try to give myself more time, more motivation to do it later. I just want these two weeks to be over but at the same time I just want more time or put time on hold so I can just breathe and take it all in.

I hate losing people in my life, and the prospect of losing someone is even more daunting. I dont think I've ever been so weak in my whole life as I have been this past week. I let people see my vulnerable side, I saw that some people dont care about me as much as I thought they did, and I shut myself off from the world and just cried for hours. I think about the future and my heart drops to the pit of my stomach as I anticipate all the pain I have to be put through. Why does the higher power, whatever that may be, have to put so much on one person? I feel like every year I've gone through SOMETHING, and I cant help but wonder if my whole life is going to be like this. Haven't I paid my dues? What did I do in my past lives to deserve what I've gone through?

After opening up to some people, I thought that they'd rush to my rescue, that they would attempt to console me, but I was sadly disappointed. After refusing to open up to some new people in my life, but them sensing something was wrong, they just surrounded me as I silently cried. I opened up to them and ended up embarassingly sobbing and gasping for breadth as some of them even cried with me. It really hit me how I have to reevaluate the people in my life. And then there are those that I havent even talked to yet and even though I dont want to talk about it anymore, I feel bad that I do consider them my close friends but yet for some reason I didnt tell them yet.

I dont know what to think anymore, I'm numb with emotional pain. I went though so much in my life but just knowing that now I have to deal with possibly losing a loved one is SO painful I dont even care about the past. I regret saying things to him and I regret treating him the way I did before, I wish I was older so he wouldnt have to worry about me when he leaves. As I was sitting in the car with him, all he had to say was, " Dont worry about me, I'll be okay, I just want to see you grow up. I miss you." Hearing the pain in his voice and even now thinking about it hurts so bad. And knowing I'm not doing well in school right now and just the past of how in comparison to my sisters I feel like the family f-up, makes me feel SO guilty.

I just want to quit school and stay home.

Is it selfish to look at happy people on the street and just want to gag or throw something at them? Haha probably, I have an urge to throw sausages out the window at people like you do. keke. :D

11.22.09

Its been a rough couple days. I realized how selfish some people can be. Its sad that people lie, fake stuff, and complain and just others back. I'm just really disappointed.

11.20.09

I feel disconnected from people. I dont know who to trust anymore. "im grasping you to try to hold on to our friendship" "I sold my soul dont you do it too. " I cant wait till saturday is over. Next semester I will try harder.

11.09.09

I want to be chased. Or at least I think I do.

But the ones that chase me, I'm not interested in.

What a dilemma.

11.05.09

I wish I could be a good student like you. Procrastination is a bitch.

It was like a movie. Sitting on the benches, eating and conversing, the light from the lamps polluting the sky as we searched for the stars.

Until next time.

11.03.09

I cant help it. I had to post despite the midst of crazy studying.
its just a guy, its just a guy. I'm such a dork.

Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.

If only I can convince myself to not fear and listen to Leona Lewis. Hah.

The last guy really messed me up man. Im scared that things will get complicated before anything even started. Wuss I am indeed.

I'm just trying to be happy.

11.2.09

Happy- Leona Lewis

someone once told me
that you have to choose
what you win or lose
you cant have everything
dont you take chances
you might feel the pain
dont you love in vain
cause love wont set you free
i could stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
so unhappy but safe as could be

so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy, yea
just wanna be happy, yea

I just want to be happy....Do what you gotta do.

11.1.09

Topic of the day: MAN WHORES

I feel like in Berkeley, any relatively good looking guys end up being man whores. Tsk rarely do I find one that I wouldnt be scared to catch a disease from. Hah. The end.

Boys need to watch where they put their hands. And they wonder why girls label them as creepers. Indeed.

10.31.09

Even though I have so much to do this week and I am super busy, I just had to post something about how grossed out I am with the pictures I see on facebook. I understand that people have their right to party and do what they want, but posting incriminating photos on a public website is just plain skanky and tasteless. Sounds harsh but really, putting up pictures of yourself kissing all the guys at a party, legs in the air, crotches basically exposed; what image are you putting up of yourself? I'm just really disgusted right now and actually ashamed for these people even though I wasnt at this party or even hang out with these people. I am ashamed of sharing the same sex as this person. And people wonder why provacative words like skank, hoochie, slut, whore are thrown around. Ugh. I'm so peeved. Do it on your own time and dont provide proof of it. Have some self respect.

Haha I dont even know why this ticks me off so much.

Now for some quotes I've heard the past couple weeks that stuck with me...

Your biggest regret is a lesson you havent yet learned from.

Sometimes something you want isnt what you need, and something you need isnt what you want.

You penetrated my heart the way roots of a tree work their way through rocks.

Just do it.

Oh yeah, Happy Halloween! :D rawr!

10.19.09

30 minutes. Surreal thing happened today. It could have been a coincidence, who knows. Trying not to blow things up anymore and feel disappointed. Just going where the wind takes me.

I hope this is a good start to a good week. :D

10.15.09

Quote of the day: "he doesnt look like your type..."
me: whats my type?
"you know, HOT."

hahahaha <3

10.13.09

So I ended up staying up for 25 hours yesterday so I feel like this weekend was like a WEEK. Lol. Im going to try to get a head start on my next batch of midterms so I dont have to suffer anymore. (highly doubt)

So I had lunch with a friend today and we were talking and he's like "you need to smile more! You dont look happy anymore!" :( I mean its not that I dont feel happy, I feel so drained and tired. Mayeb its because its midterm season but I just want to put time on hold and just BREATHE for awhile. Sigh.

On another note. That lunch was so weird. I had lunch with a friend that was actually a friends friend that I met last year and he wanted to get lunch so we planned this out like three weeks ago. He was like can we change it to three? I was like why? Him: I mean I can do two too but I'd rather do three.
So I asked where we were going and he said this Chinese restaurant and asked why I wanted to know so bad. Lol and when I walked by the restaurant with him I couldnt help but laugh. Happy hour was all I could think about and yes he ended up paying because hes an "old fashioned" type guy so he claims. He's just so corny too. "Yeah there's this really cute girl in your pledge class! I saw her a few times! " me: who? Him: Oh the really cute girl is you! Did I not tell you

Oh gosh. So freakin corny. Actually the one person who does read my blog would prob think its cute. Well maybe if it came from someone that i was actually interested in, it woulda been cute :)

Anywhoo its freaking pouring rain right now and I am NOT a happy camper sitting here in the library. :( Im sleepy. Sigh. Ok back to work.

HMMm....

Why is it that most of the time when he calls, I miss the phone call and vice versa?

I called him today and he misses it; I went to the bathroom and I missed his; I called back and he missed it. I think the universe is trying to tell me to not even bother anymore, to stop trying. -___-

10.10.09

Wants may be "easily satisfied" either by producing much or desiring little.

Oh the things you learn while cramming for midterms.

10.7.09 part duex

I dont know if its because I'm just being moody and insensitive but today when people were complaining to me about their boy problems all I could think is REALLY ARE YOU REALLY COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT and I just want to be like ugh, you do equally annoying stuff.

10.7.09

Until as of now, all the people that I knew that passed away, I didnt really know, at least know know in the sense that I saw them pretty often and actually developed a relationship with. And even though death is not surprising in people of great age, death is slowly creeping up on the people that are actually close to me and Im getting scared. So that's all I've been thinking about lately, how many more years do I have with the people I care about? Not a very good thought to have when you are trying to study for midterms. Ive been so lethargic, sleepy, and lazy lately I really dont know what to do anymore. I look at the time and I swear it jumps a few hours and all I want to do is rewind time or at least stop it a few hours.

SIGH.

10.5.09

I changed my bedsheets and theres just something about new bedsheets that feel really good :D and its been kinda chilly lately so now I'm sitting in bed with the heater on. Life feels good right now. Haha, but then again its the beginning of the week. When it gets closer to my next midterm, I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune.

Till next time <3

10.3.09

I was watching the tyra show and the episode was "answering questions about race."

They basically tried to address stereotypes like "why do asian people always own nail salons, why do black people always talk during movies, why do hispanics have so many kids, and why do white people walk around barefoot?"They had a panel of comedians of different racial backgrounds and was suppose to answer the question. Although I was pretty much hooked on the episode, I didnt really like how they addressed it. I feel like it justified those stereotypes because they would just be like YEAHHH and then laughed about it. The audiance was even split up into race. So EH. I thought it was interesting tho.

So anyways, I came home this weekend because I was tired of how berkeley was treating me. haha "I dont need sex because berkeley fucks me everyday" Midterm season + EC + friends - sleep = all bad. But yeah after a tough week of midterms and papers I just had to leave berkeley for a little bit. Although now that I am home and its the weekend, I'm a bit thirsty if you know what I mean.

Schedules for classes are out already. I swear I just settled my classes a few weeks ago. Now even more stress about what classes to take and the ADDED stress now that we dont have pickaprof. Sigh. Next sem is going to be killer. Help me find an easy international breadth or historical breadth. I need that GPA booster for next sem.

Hold my hand, its not that bad.

I sometimes sit in my room alone and I can hear my roommates in their rooms with their significant others; talking, laughing, watching a movie. I look around me and feel a void, a lack of presence in the room. I want to hold someone's hand, I want to look across the table at someone and know they care, I want that at ease feeling where you feel safe.

I get upset at myself when I have this feeling. I like to think of myself as an independent woman but I realize I am just trying to embody my older sister's personality. I've been fighting their shadow my whole life and here I am actually striving for it. Its funny how the world works.

This year is going to be different. Come hold my hand, I promise it wont be so bad.

you can do more than you realize.

I get angry at myself every time I wish I was in good terms with you to talk to you. Why do I still want to talk to you even though you've hurt me so? This heart is just asking for it. I dont know what to think anymore. I just want to be numb.

I want to just stop time like I can with my Tivo. I wish you werent such an ass, things would be so much easier. Hah.

sorority!? what you!?

So I decided to pledge for this sorority. I decided to put myself out there and try something new. Call me hypocritical if I've ever bad mouthed sororities but I really do feel like I'm part of something special. I dont have much to say about that for now. We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of sororities, I want to watch Sorority Row. Even though it totally looks like some corny teeny bopper scary movie, one of my fb friend's status claims it is a 9/10. Thats pretty generous for a scary movie that isnt even R rated. I shall bootleg it later :D

I should really get to reading :( I have like 3o pages to read and a paper to write. Thats just for one class too. Pooey.

Chicpea shall now crawl back to her desk to do hwk. FAIL.

Random...

When I'm walking to my class on campus, I like to look around and check people out. Not like that, (ok maybe sometimes like that. When I see a guy run past with a suit on or a clean cut look, is it so bad to turn my head? haha. Yeah probably, but shoot me.) but rather just people watch. I sometimes count how many CAL shirts people wear on the way to class (HOLY) and sometimes I look for doggies. But the other day as I was passing Wheeler, and because wheeler is on that big slope, the left side of the building has a lot more stairs than the right but it is gradual so it is really hard to tell if there's going to be another step or not unless you are actually looking down. Well I saw this girl walking while on the phone and stepped expecting another step. It looked funny so I just giggled to myself because that has happened to me so many times.

I also think its amusing how cruel the bus drivers are sometimes. I see the bus coming and think FINALLY and it approaches the bus stop but decides last minute that they arent going to stop because there's too many people on the bus. Damn. Tricked.

Speaking of bus drivers, the 51 bus driver who goes from Bancroft to Shattuck around 1-ish/2-ish? Yeah that fool is C-R-A-Z-Y. We approach a bus stop and there are only two people so he opens the doors, yell HOP ON and when they do, close the door and zooms on. I'm like OMG those people didnt even get a chance to hold on to something. The bus driver then turns onto Shattuck and it was a REALLY sharp turn. Everyone was holding on to dear life! I felt like we were literally on two wheels. WHOA NOW MAN. CHILLLLLL. I ran out of that bus. If I see him again, I'll happily wait another 10-15 minutes for the next bus thank you very much!

Ok, just some thoughts :)

It takes more...

Another song that speaks to me: Jourdan Sparks- It Takes More

Tell me what happened this time
Made you come back again
I find out only see you when luck deserts you
If this is your idea of happiness
Then let's be clear
Those words of yours ain't working anymore

Cause I'm always giving
Here waiting while you're living
I need a new beginning
Oh, I'm not the girl I used to be with you

You think maybe that I'm just so easy
You can come in and out my life like you please
But baby no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
To keep a girl like me
No more waiting for you to change
Don't you know that you bringing flowers
Won't stop the rain baby no, no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
You're the only one not worth waiting for

I know you're busy so if you gotta go
Then go but don't forget to leave my heart
I stayed around for you but
You're no where to be found now
Once again here you are

I've settled for less
When I stayed with you but no more
Cause you aint worth waiting for, ooh, uuuuh

I really have changed, Im not that girl anymore and I wont settle for less now. Sorry you missed your chance and I really do hope one day you will realize what I was offering you. Those girls wont compare because I was offering more than just a hookup, I was a good friend to you but you threw it all for the option for more party girls. Superficial or what. No wonder everyone I talk to say they get a bad vibe from you. I really do deserve better than you. Heres to the next guy!

Tell me what you see when you look at me...

So welcome week isnt so welcoming I realized. I see all these people that were in my life last year on campus but I realized I dont have much to talk about with these people. I dont know if its because I have suddenly become unable to carry a conversation for too long, or if these people I thought were my friends, were actually accaintances? And thats when I realized, I really dont have that many friends. Well I have realized this a few times but still, everytime I realize it, it makes me more sad.

Ignorance is bliss...

I felt like I was in a movie or something. I mean ive been saying all summer that my life was pretty boring and uneventful but this is an event that I didn’t want to happen. My roomie said to better watch out because once school starts Im going to end up with drama I don’t want. Well school is just around the corner and its already starting.

I dont believe in the whole "I ended up with my childhood friend" love story. That's like ending up with your brother. HMM... um no thank you.

On another note:

Jennifer Chung- White Lies

What came so fast left as easily
Though we tried to work things carefully.
Intentions were good we had our fun
but for the best said that we were done

No one even knew what we were up to
But how could they understand what was me and you?
When I don't even know for sure myself.
This song is my cry for help.

You bruised my heart
Nothing's broken it's just done
of having careless complications,
teaching itself to become numb
It's afraid to feel
'Cause what it once thought was real
Was a false note prettied w/designs.
They were all just white lies.

I was never yours,
You were never mine.
When we met it wasn't right.
The stars never aligned.
It was time for you to go.
It was the middle of May
We both knew it was coming,

You were never meant to stay.

08.08.09

So I was on youtube and found a new song byMichelle Branch. I've always wondered where Michelle Branch disappeared to ever since "Goodbye to You" and "All You Wanted"
Michelle Branch- Sooner or Later

Lipstick, pretty face
And maybe you'll notice something
Different about me, different about me
Yeah you talk talk all you want
You pour your heart out
But you never do see, you never do see me

You, you never see me standing right in front of you....

....I'm your shoulder
I'm the quick drive over
Tryin to fix your stuff
Well I give up

I can't wait forever for you

Sooner or later
You're gonna come around
You'll be sorry
When you figure out
That I was always
Everything that you needed
Sooner or later
You're gonna wish you had me
Yeah you're gonna wish you had me

Oh you're gonna wish me back so bad, so bad
Oh well it's a little too late for that

And going back to my oldies :)
Heather Headley- I Wish I Wasn't

When you touch me my heart melts
And everything you did wrong I forget
So you play me and take advantage
Of the love that I feel for you
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you thats why Im so mad
Now Im drowning in disappointment, and its hard for me to even look at you

I wish that you were home
Holding me tight in your arms ooh baby
I wish I could go back
To the day before we met and skip my regret

Said you care about me, but from what I see
I aint feeling that, so I disagree
Gave you all my love and understanding and you treated me like your enemy
So leave me alone, dont want nothing from you
Just go back where you came from this house is no longer your home
You can not never come no more...

...I hear you knocking at my door again
Im wondering should I let you in
I open up the door and see the flowers for me so beautiful in your hands
You start begging me to take you back,
Ive always been a sucker for romance
And before you know it I can see, youre all over me
Oh no here I go again

I wish I wasnt in love with you so you couldnt hurt me

I think in general, when you like someone, you want to believe that they will change. And you hear all these stories about how when a guy meets the right girl, they will change for her. Every girl wants to believe that they are the right girl, but you have to admit to yourself one day that you are not the right girl for every guy, just like how not every guy is the right guy for you. And like in the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" says, those girls that change guys are the exception hence a lot of the time you are the rule, not the exception. So I guess this explains the whole going back to the scumbag phenomenon.

Also, I think that girls are blinded by the idea that material things reflect a guy's feelings as in the more he buys you, the more he cares about you. Or maybe this is actually the guy's way of showing that he is guilty for doing something? I mean buying you things is great but if he isn't spending that much time with you.... well lets just say if a guy cares for you he'll want to spend time with you. I was watching the Tyra Show and they were talking about Steve Harvey's new book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man which I think I talked about before. Even though I think that these self help dating books can also be a downfall to some women, Steve Harvey made an interesting point about a guy's way of showing he cares through the three P's. Profess, Provide and Protect. If he cares about you, by 6 months he'll have a title for you when he introduces you to other people. I think the book was targeted towards people in their late 20s and 30s as opposed to the college dating scene, so I think the 6 month rule is actually less than... But anyways thats besides the point; Its pretty true, he wants to mark his territory when hes introducing you to his guy friends by saying something like "This is my girlfriend/girl/wifey/baby... SOMETHING besides friends. Provide refers to money wise and time wise and protect is pretty self explanitory.

Steve Harvey also has this thing called the 90 day rule in which a guy cant recieve any benefits until he's still hanging around after 90 days and you still think hes a good guy. I think this is pretty good advice, because if he really is interested in you, he'll wait. Besides, you know the whole chasing thing? Imagine having to chase for 90 days, how good its going to be? Haha.

So theres only two and half weeks left until school starts... =l omg. Ok I have so much to do until school starts! :(

I had a lot of time to think this summer about my love life, social life, well I guess life in general. And I realized that I want to be more outgoing. There are so many things I haven't done experience wise that I feel like I havent done anything this year. I want to go hiking on the campus hills (the closest thing to hiking I got to was "hiking" to class and man some of those hikes were killer!!). I have a few other back to school resolutions but I talk about them all the time so it might reveal my identity :P

Well I'm going to go wash my troubles away :D

How depressing... or rather a buzzkill, if i was buzzed.

I know this picture is kinda random... but I get my pictures from picapp and I didnt like the "depressing" pictures so I searched for "upset" and saw this and just couldnt help but laugh.

Feeling depressed is... well depressing. But I think what is more depressing is someone who really is depressed and reaches out to you and you dont know what to do. After almost a year and a half of consoling a depressed person and just trying to be there to meet up and talk when he is in need, I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I feel really bad but I dread those conversations because it makes me feel like an ass when I complained about my problems to him. So yeah, I dont know what to do anymore. Sigh.

I was watching Paris Hilton BFF show and it is a total guilty pleasure because I really am against the idea of the show that she thinks she can find a bff through a contest, let alone one that is televised. But it made me think of my friendships/acquaintances. I need to learn how to develop my friendships more. I noticed I tend to pick a few new people to hang out with and then thats it. I gotta learn how to balance everyone. Like I said I have a lot of love to give, especially since that guy is out of my life and I'm not using/wasting all that energy/emotions.

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Fort minor- Where'd you go?

sigh. Another song that speaks out to me :D I love how my itunes is so psychic. I used to play this game with my best friend where we would ask a question or say a person and on shuffle, the song would tell us about our situation with that person or the answer to the question. :D

Life's a prison when you are in love alone...

Usher- can you help me. I just like this line.

I really like Usher songs but boy is he a douche; pardon my french.

Well... chicpea signing out at 3:55pm man I cant wait to move back to college to make these blogs more interesting haha :)

Bringing out the cook in me

So there's only a few more weeks left before I move into my apartment. There's a bittersweet feeling when I think about it. I'm excited to finally get out of the house and enter SOCIETY again. But I will not be excited to start cooking for myself.

My mom was trying to teach me how to cook today. She made me touch uncooked meat. Gross. And cleaning those zucchinis really seemed... dirty, if you know what I mean. then my mom started packing a box for me to bring to my apartment and then I started getting really nervous again. I'll probably be moving in after the 15th which is like pretty soon, which means school is pretty soon. Yeah that panicky feeling is back. :/ But after cooking dinner for my family and it being edible, I really got into the idea of cooking. I started making a long list of things I wanted my mom to teach me how to cook and started putting some cook books on hold at the library. :) I know I wont be cooking everyday but I am probably going to be like my mom and make a little menu. :D I'm also excited to cook with my roommates. Although in high school when we got together and cooked, we had some funny stories about how salty everything turned out, I think it is just more fun having someone there with you when you are cooking, either for the company or a helping hand. So I guess I am a little excited about finding a special someone I would want to cook for :) and boss around in the kitchen. hehe. Speaking of food, I'm really craving popcorn for some reason and I also have an urge to add chocolate in it. I want to make lemonade too, oh, and make some chocolate covered fruit. So yah when I was packing with my mom, I told her that there were some new knives in the drawer and I pulled one out and she said, "I dont want to give you that knife because..." then proceeds to make a jabbing motion. I couldnt help but laugh because being almost 20 years old, I think I can handle a pointy knife and besides my roommates and I dont run around holding knives. But I guess in her eyes, I'm still her little girl.

Til You Do Me Right- After 7 ft Baby Face

I was in love with you
And gave my heart to you
I did my best
To keep you satisfied

You took the love from me
And used it selfishly
You did not give back
Your love to me at all

I gave the sun to you
You said it was too bright
I gave you diamond rings
You said they didn't shine

I gave my world to you
But you said it's not enough
What in the world could I have done
To make you be so rough?

'Til you do me right
I don't even wanna talk to you
I don't even wanna hear
You speak my name

And 'til you do me right
Only wrong is gonna come to you
Nothin' good is gonna come
'Til you change, change your ways
Until you change your evil ways

Girl, I was there for you
Someone you could talk to
How could you just keep
Breakin' my heart?

What did I do to you
To make you be so cruel?
I don't understand
Why you've been so wrong

I tried to be your strength
You said I was too strong
I tried to compromise so
We could get along

I gave my love to you despite
Your evil ways
I guess it's clear to me there's only
One thing left to say

'Til you do me right
I don't even wanna talk to you

damn these oldies are speakin out to me :) I really do believe in karma, so all those times that I did wrong, I paid it back in something bad happening to me too. So even though I'm upset about the wrongdoings of others, I feel satisfied knowing that karma is going to bite them in the ass. Go ahead and call me evil for finding that satisfying. Like they say, karma's a bitch so watch yo back. :D

Walking in the Rain

I finally watched Pixar's UP today. Boy did the first 10 minutes make me cry. The scene where there was no talking and it showed the old man's love life was sooo sad. However, at the same, in today's society it is so unrealistic. I cant think of one person in my childhood that I could end up marrying. Haha. I probably talk to only a few people from elementary school and only one is a guy who I spent my life with a tolerate-annoyed relationship with.

I hope one day I can have that relationship with someone. Right now, my ideal relationship is to have someone who doesnt mind spending time with me. I mean little things like going to study at the library, staying home and watching a movie, cooking, trying out the local restaurants, and doing some of the things on my Things I Want To Do list. And even though a lot of these are things you can do with just a friend, there's something about having that physical attraction to someone too. Love is going out of your way to do something nice for someone else. I know what love is but I guess romance is love with the physical aspect of a relationship.

I'm still young and I think that in retrospect, all the times I get hurt relationship wise is in a way teaching me what I want in a partner and to not settle on certain characteristics of a person. Because I'm the type of person that doesnt learn until its too late, I learned my share of lessons and I'm sure there are many that I have yet to learn which means I have many more heartaches to come. Great.

Well the movie was a typical Disney/Pixar movie with a good guys and bad guys, black and white, either or motif. I kinda felt bad for the "bad guy". I mean he was like the old guy, he was fulfilling a lifelong mission, finding that damn emu thing. But instead of learning his lesson, he ended up just falling to his probable death like the bad guy in Mulan. Okay I dont remember whether he fell to his death, but nevertheless my memory tells me that he died. And yeah, I just realized that I either A)randomly compared it to any movie where the bad guy dies or B) I lost my train of thought because I have no idea why I just mentioned Mulan. Hah. Sorry.

So I'll leave with that snippet from my old school songs (this particular one is A1- Walking in the Rain). Btw, I don't go through my itunes looking for the perfect song to mention in my blog. Haha, because most of the time I dont even know the lyrics. I just go and write what I feel like and then BAM I actually listen to what I'm listening to (yah you heard me) and realize, "damn those are some good lyrics."

Feels like I'm walking in the rain
I find myself trying to wash away the pain
'Cause I need you give me some shelter, 'cause I'm fading away
And baby- I'm walking in the rain

Well, since its summer, I'll try to wash my pain away in the shower ;)

Actually when I shower I really do wash away some of my pain. Call me crazy but I talk out my pain, sometimes acting like I'm talking to the person that has hurt me. Sometimes I feel better and empowered and sometimes I end up crying and feeling worse. So bye, Im going to wash away my pain and hopefully start from scratch. :D

stalking can shed light

So its summer. Its Friday night. And I'm sitting here alone in my living room while the rest of my family sleeps and with nothing to do and no one to talk to, I turn to my trusty time consuming buddy, Facebook. I click on Friends, and browse some of the profiles of friends that have changed their profile pictures. Being the nosy person I am (although I prefer to call it just being observant), I am aware of when and where pictures were added. And I realized, I haven't done anything this summer. I spent the first month with family, the next six weeks on summer school, and now I'm in this limbo land where I don't have anything to do.

This is bad news because when I don't have anything to do, I tend to start reflecting on my life and then I get this funny feeling at the pit of my stomach. My sister claims that its anxiety because it runs in the family, and if it is, boy am I having an anxiety attack right now. I start to think about the upcoming rigorous school year, my stressful health concerns and what else, my social life.

I realized that since I've started college I've only made a few friends. And I'm not talking about facebook friends, I'm talking about those people that you contact when you find something funny/scary/exciting/sad/amusing online. Those people that you pour your heart to (being the melodramatic person I am). But I also realized I was lucky that I got to go to college with my best friends from college. Six people I know that will always have my back. That have grown up with me and seen me cry about the stress of school, boys, and just this thing we call life. And even though I feel like my social life hasnt really gotten anywhere this past year besides expanding the number of acquaintances, I wouldn't trade anything for the friends I have. (Oh Disney Channel, how you've warped my mind.)

This isnt to say I havent made a few close friends in college. Some people I cannot believe that I did not know existed until this past year. And some people I sadly kinda wish I didnt know existed. Hah.

College candy really is amazing. They wrote an article about the "sort-of" ex. And OMG I feel like they were preaching the choir! I totally felt like that this summer. I was/am hurt even though we weren't official, my feelings were not unofficial. I was faded (and I'm not talking about drugs because I dont mess with that stuff) I'm talking about someone disappearing off the face of the earth and hence from my life. Someone I really thought highly of despite what people said. One of the few new people that I really opened my heart to. I can't begin to explain the pain I feel and the relief of not having to live near him anymore. I get this daunting feeling every time I think about having to deal with the situation when I get back to school. And its weird that at the same time, I honestly dont want to deal with it. I've accepted that he's just shady and I dont want to hear reasons why he ignored me. When I see/hear updates on him, I gag a little in my mouth. And I am SO EXCITED TO SEE HIM NEXT YEAR ON CAMPUS. I hope you can hear my sarcasm through the computer screen (I've been really sarcastic lately, and my parents totally dont understand sarcasm). I feel like I'm a really good friend to the people I care about. I have this mothering nature about me and is always eager to help when I can. But this nature has really bit me in the ass. I feel used and abused, that I wasnt appreciated for all the times I've been there for him. Well I can say that things will be different this year because I've been hurt one to many times over someone I thought was worth the trouble but really, he isn't anything that special. I can go on and on about the injustices of my non-existent love life, but common I gotta save some for later ;)


I just want to be with people who I don't feel like I have to say anything to. It sounds so weird but I would be happy with just doing homework with someone in silence or doing our own things on our laptops. You know how sometimes when it's quiet and if feels really awkward and you just make something up just to talk? As opposed to the feeling where you realized that no one has spoken for the past 20 minutes but all you do is sit back and smile as someone looks back at you.

Wow, my itunes is totally playing late 90s slow jams. Oh slow jams, how have you really expressed how I feel when I'm feeling down. Well actually scratch that, songs in general. I really love music. I'm not a hardcore music lover like DJ-esque or remotely musically talented, but I like how expressive it is. How sometimes I can find a song that just sings the feelings in my soul. I recently discovered Jennifer Chung- Very Last Time. Here are a few lyrics:

What, what am I supposed to do with you?
Then again, you're really not the issue
It's a battle within myself
And I don't need your help
Why, why am I getting so confused?
The feeling's gone, I don't even like you
Then tell me why is it that sometimes
I can't look you in the eyes?

CHORUS:
You did me wrong
And you knew all along
That you weren't ready
But I'm holding steady
So I hope you hear this song
This is my goodbye
And no longer will I try
'Cause I'm leaving, and you've hurt me for the very last time

The very last time

How, how did I even get here?
This is the very place that I feared
In a position where I wonder if you cared for me at all
Who, who was it that made me believe
That you and I were supposed to be
Well it doesn't matter, 'cause in the end...

Well actually that is most of the song. I've listened to that on repeat every single day since I heard it. Another song I've been listening to since my first ever break up in high school and bring back every time I have boy problems is Dominique van Hulst- Don't Want To Be Your Friend.

I don't wanna see your face
I don't wanna hear your name
I don't wanna thing
Just stay away baby
Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear you say you'll just stay in touch baby
I'll get by just fine
And if you're goin' then darlin'
Goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend

I'll forget we ever met
I'll forget I ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby
You just gotta let me be
You gotta keep away from me
'Cause all I want is just to be free from you baby
Don't you come around
And say you still care about me
Just go now, go now

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend


You take it casually, baby it's killing me
Goodbye, goodbye

Awesome lyrics, man, BEA-U-TI-FUL. -_-

I think I'll leave it at that for today.

P.s. did you guys know that there's a STALKING CHECK APP on facebook!? It claims that it tells you the ranking of people who view/comment your page. But after calming down and becoming anal about being discovered, I analyzing it and I think it's just based on recent comments, so rest assured, stalk on people, stalk on.

Dorming versus apartments...

Ever since I was little, my mom would complain about how messy my room was and that I was -almost 10, almost a teenager, almost going to college, and recently almost 20- and I still "don’t know how to clean up." She claims that every time she walks into my room, she "wants to pass out."

It is NOT THAT BAD. Well…. Sometimes it can get pretty bad, but I am really determined to be cleaner at my apartment. In the dorms, my roommates and I had people coming in all the time so a lot of the time their stuff gets left behind, adding to the clutter. We arent morning people so sometimes we have to jump out of bed and rush to get ready to run to class…even though its 12pm… haha. But in the fall not only will I have a room COMPLETELY MY OWN (yet still having my best friends living in the next room) but I actually have space to spread things out so it wont be as easy to get cluttered, hopefully. My room at home is really tiny with lots of drawers, shelves, etc. so I don’t have much space, especially since my closet is really tiny. However, my room in my apt is really spacious, at least for the stuff I have in it and it has a walk in closet. *DROOLS*

I cant wait till I move in and be able to finally see my clothes spaced out. The feelings from college freshmen dorm move in days come back every time I think about it.

Although I am super excited to move in, there are always pluses and minuses in everything new.

(+) like I said, I get my own room with a walk in closet. Hello.Your own room also means more privacy. ;)

(-) The apartment is farther than my old dorm so I cant come back to my room during 1+ hrs break to take a nap, get something I forgot, change my clothes, or switching my books so I don’t have to carry so many at once. I sometimes have meetings or study groups at night on campus so walking farther to get home can be dangerous, at least walking to the dorms, it was well lit. Oh, and frat row is even further, I see unsuccessful drunken walks home in my future...

(+) I get to cook my own food. Finally I can have my toaster, relieve my egg cravings, and make some fresh baked desserts.Also, i wont be tempted to those buffet style meals. Freshmen 15 no longer!

(-) I have to cook my own food. Even though dorm food wasn’t all that great (although sometimes it's AWESOME) it is still really convenient. I don’t have to take the time to defrost my meats, marinate, and actually COOK. I can just swipe, get instant food, and go back to studying (sure…). But now I not only have to walk father to get my food, but I will have to actually use more energy to make it. Like I said before, I'm trying to save money, so I will be trying to cook more. I have to brush up on my cooking skills. Sigh.

(+) It’s a lot quieter, so I can actually study in my own room. The dorms are pretty hectic. The dorm library closes at 1am but sometimes I study even later so after they kick me out, I have to go through the each floor to find a quiet lounge. My dorm room was either too noisy with the visiting friends or my roommates were sleeping. Although I have studied in my room at my desk, but there's something about studying in the dark with the desk lamp that is so… depressing (and it makes me sleeeeeeeeeeeepy….)

(-) I have to clean. :( I can see it now, my mom coming to visit and criticizing my cleanliness, or rather lack there of. Now not only do I have to keep my room clean but the kitchen, bathroom, and living area which means more cleaning supplies meaning more money.

(+) I don’t have to share bathrooms with 20+ people. I lived on a handicap accessible floor so we had a big shower stall (with no door!?) and three regular stalls. No one really used the middle stall because there was barely any light and so we technically had 2 shower stalls for 20+ people. Then after winter break, the first shower's head trickled less than a faucet. I complained about it many times to no avail. So we were stuck with only one shower for 20+ people. Most of us ended up going to the next floor up to shower where there were 3 showers out of 6 that works. That’s a public university for you.

(-) people are generally farther away. In the dorms I always had someone on my floor or the floor above me in one of my classes so it was really easy to get help or study together. However, now that we are all separated and there are less people in my apartment unit versus the dorms, there are less chances for me to find someone I can study with in such close proximity.

So as you can see, there are a lot of pluses and minuses of living in the dorms versus the apartments. I know some of my friends have decided to stay in the dorms one more year since we are guaranteed two years on campus housing. But for me, I couldn’t imagine living in the dorms with people other (especially younger people) than my floor mates. Living in the dorms was really fun, but it was time to move on and besides, I couldn’t give up the best roommates ever! Good roommates that you get along with and can actually stand living with each other is really hard to come by.

So good luck with your living situation next year!

Dwindling college student bank accounts

I was really lucky to get a lot of generous scholarships my freshmen year of college. In the end, I was actually PAID to go to school so I didn’t have to worry about spending too much money on going out or shopping because I had all that extra cash. That is, until I moved out of the dorms and started paying rent. I didn’t even realize that my bank account was so low until I was paying my credit card bill and realized that I only had $200 left. I was shocked. I didn’t have this little in my bank account since I OPENED it. I was convinced that the bank made a mistake and even panicked for a while about being a possible victim of identity theft because someone took my credit card number to buy stuff in New Jersey at Rite Aid before. Yah that’s a little hard to do when I'm across the country.

Anywhoo, after going through each and every transaction, I realized my online bank statements are so disorganized. When I first got my bank account, my dad spent all this time explaining to me how to balance my check book and I've grown up seeing him balance it EVERY TIME he pays a bill or writes a check, color coded and all. But I just blew it off because everything is online, "I don’t have to worry about it, it'll calculate it for me." Yah, I think I'm going to start balancing my check book this year. (possible new school years resolution?) I am probably going to do it by hand and try to write memos when I make transactions online.

I cant believe I'm saying this but I cant wait the fall semester to start so I can start getting those refund checks. I guess I have to start cutting back on the Yogurtland and Thai food. :(

Avoiding the "CREEPER" label

Ever since I started college, I noticed that the word "creeper" is thrown around a lot. Many of my guy friends think that girls label guys creepers too quickly. I admit that I have labeled guys creepers before I got to know them but I think some instances are label worthy. Ie. A guy jump attacking towards me in attempt to dance with me, whipping his arms and head every which way making my reflexes respond by running away. This was a true story. I honestly felt like he was going to hurt me. If my instincts are to run away then it cant be good.

Creepers at a party:

Scoping: Even though you are scanning the room for a cute girl or a girl you could actually have a chance with, please don’t make it so damn obvious. Just because you stay in one spot scanning the room doesn’t mean that people in the room cant see your bug eyes searching. And please, PLEASE don’t walk around to get a better look, especially in a dark dance room. It is SO obvious. You are not that slick.

Dancing: Want to dance with a girl? Dance near her and if she looks over and smiles or signals you in some way, then go for it or ask if she wants to dance. But don’t scheme and circle her like a vulture (had it happened to me). Even if those circles are big, you are not invisible, we can still see you.

Take a hint: if we reject you, don’t try dancing with her again. We may not remember you the next day on Facebook but we will remember you a few minutes later when you attempt another hip thrusting move on us as we label you a creeper. And yes, grabbing another girl and shimmying her way away from you is a subtle way of rejecting you, not an invitation for you to dance with both of them.

Girl hopping: I don’t know about you, but after being rejected by two of the girls in a group, if I was a guy, I would give up. This one time, this short sweaty, musty guy with a bright orange tshirt and HUGE voluminous hair attempted to dance with me and the 4 other friends I was with- within the span of 10 minutes. He hopped from girl to girl as we did our shimmying move over and over until we finally were fed up and moved. Lets say he didn’t take the hint and we saw a flash of orange a few minutes later….

Closet creepers:

Facebook friend requests: just because we danced with you does not mean we remember you. I know that sounds even borderline hoochie to not know who you danced with but sometimes it just happens. So unless you actually had a legitimate conversation where you exchanged more than "What's your name" , "Do you want a drink/to dance" don’t be so eager to click the REQUEST FRIEND button.

Facebook stalking: although this isn't as obvious to the person you are "creeping" on, it is still just… ugh. This act can be committed by both males and females but to continue the theme of this article, we'll talk about the guys...

I have had one of my guy friends come into my room, without even a hello first, asking "YOU KNOW [insert cute girl's name]!? Can I see her Facebook pictures?" or when I went to visit this same guy friend's room to see him looking at a cute girl's Facebook. "Oh she's cute, who is she?"

His response? "I don’t know but she's cute" as I witnessed him looking at her profile for another 20 minutes.

Picture creepers:

I came across this blog, and I thought it was hilarious because I think everyone has pictures with funny things going on in the background. But what made me laugh was a certain person I know who does this on purpose. On the dance floor, he sees a flash in the making, and then stops dancing to pose. Confused, I asked what he was doing and he points to the group of people taking pictures. He repositions himself to be in a better range of the photo and crosses his arms with a thuggish face. He is such a quirky friend that is pretty good looking so I wonder if those girls look at that picture and label him a creeper (most likely).

So I guess that made me realize that I throw that word around too much lately. This guy is such a sweet guy who walks his friends back to their dorms to make sure they make it back ok, offers the cloths off his back to shivering friends, never gets belligerently drunk and seems to still have a good time but still keeps a watchful eye on his friends, guys and girls alike. But his creeper photo shoot does not do this sweet guy justice. Maybe the picture creepers should be crossed out at least.

Excuse my language but F*$@ YEAH!

I knew it. Nothing feels better than a good "FUCK YOU". Who even came up with the word FUCK? Mhmm, Europeans do have a pretty bad potty mouth. Well either way, now when your mother tells you to watch your language, you can explain to her that you are just trying to relieve your pain.

This kinda reminded me of a website I haven't visited since I sat at the back of the boring lectures last semester... FML. and the laughable MLIA and the not so great MyLifeIsG.

I actually say "FML" about little things but when I need to release that paind, nothing is better than a FUCK YOU.

Happy fucking! (Oh you dirty, dirty person....;))

Are you hungry for some free stuff?

Wow there's a lot of food freebies lately (besides Costco free samples)... I'm sitting in the library right now drooling at all this free stuff I can get!

Free Baskin Robins Ice Cream Soft Serve... yummy! especially in this weather! Yogurtland is good but free is winning this time....

Hungry for something salty? Head over to Wienershnitzel (teehee:)) to get a free chili dog and small cone tomorrow, TUESDAY JULY 14 between 5-8. Oh and you can get an iced coffee while you're at it... Geez thats like a whole meal :)

Speaking of caffeine, McDonald's new iced coffee, hot coffee, whatever it is... who cares because its free every Monday until August 3rd!?

If that's not strong enough, sign up to get this Venom Energy energy drink. I dont normally drink energy drinks but I do drink it occasionally during finals week.

Since you're going to be up all night ;) remember to be safe. Oh My....You might want to send that last one to your dorm or apartment address.... haha.

Happy sampling!

Google, you are AMAZING.

Nowadays everyone knows Google, heck my grandparents know what Google is, my 3 year old cousin knows what Google is. The company that brought you their reliable search engine, Youtube, Gmail, Docs, Google Chrome, Google Maps/Earth, iGoogle,Sites, Google talk, calendar, Google translator, Google Reader and Google Scholar and books which are I have all used, especially since I started college. (ok maybe not the translator but I did used to use something similar to it in high school) Heck, even this blog is a product of Google. Other sites that I wasn’t aware of until recently was Orkut (used to meet new people, an attempt of a networking site),Knol (which looks like a wikipedia-like website), Picasa (a photobucket-like website with a photo editing program), and Google Sketch Up (it makes 3d pictures of buildings, rooms, etc) . And all of these are FREE!! You know how Chic Pea LO-LO-LOVES free stuff!

I am already amazed at all of this but google is now coming out with an open source OS. AMAZING. I dont know how well it will come out especially in the Mac vs Windows war but Im excited to see how it turns out. And again this is FREE!! I really wonder how Google makes so much money from just their ads because I dont even click them... hmm....

I love Google. FREE IS GOOD. Happy Googling!

Married!? NOOOOOOO!

I saw on E! news this morning that Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan got married this weekend. I automatically thought what Elizabeth Taylor said a couple of years ago... MARRIED!? NOOOOO.... :( one less cutie pie on the market. Oh well, congrats Jenanning? haha.

Vaseline can make eyelashes grow!? WHAT!?

Tell me WHY not one has told me before that Vaseline can help make your eyelashes grow!? I LO-LO-LOVE petroleum jelly. Not only does it make my lips feel really soft and shiny, but it doesn't have that sticky feeling that many lip glosses have. Most of my friends use chapstick but I like how the petroleum jelly makes my lip glossy. I use the Target brand petroleum jelly tubes which is two for 99 cents. I literally have one everywhere, in all my purses, backpack, and desk.

But who knew that it could make your eyelashes look longer and thicker by putting it on at night! Even though I couldn't find medical proof that petroleum jelly can make your eyelashes grow thicker and longer, but its so cheap and easy, that I thought I would give it a try. If anything, the petroleum jelly will make my eyelashes softer and less brittle (which can happen from the drying effects of mascara). Here are some other uses of the magic goop.

I'll update in a month. Happy growing!

Dorm Shopping, OH MY!

I was so excited to live in the dorms. Not only was I finally leaving the nest, I was going to live with my friends. So naturally, I was ecstatic to shop! So here are a few things that I think you would need in the dorms.

Flip Flops: I cannot emphasize this enough. There were people in my building that showered without flip flops or some type of shoe that separated your bare feet from the bathroom stall floor. G-R-O-S-S. I understand doing that at home when the FUNK that you are washing off is your own or your family's. But like stranger's funk!? AND I doubt that the cleaning lady even cleans it that well, especially having to clean 8+ bathrooms EVERYDAY. Common people, they cost like 3 bucks! I got my shower shoes on clearance at Target for like 2 dollars but they are always super cheap at Old Navy (they were actually $1 last month, damn I shoulda started this blog last month… ) . Heck, just use your old pair of flip flops. Oh an there's always the dollar store.

Shower caddy: unless you are living in a dorm where you have your own personal bathroom in your room (damn private schools) then you'll be lugging all your shower stuff to the shower stall everyday. I use a lot of products when I shower: shampoo, conditioner, facewash, and body wash as well as having to hold my towel and my clothes (which I put in a cute fabric bag). So to make the commute easier, I bought a plastic shower caddy from the dollar store. My roommate bought hers at Ross but it ended up dying by the end of the first semester (who knows what she did to it) and mine is still alive a year later. You can also get it at Target and Walmart because they have EVERYTHING.

XL bedsheets and comforter: Usually dorm room beds are extra long twin beds so they need special bed sheets. I bought mine from Target during the back to school sale in their COLLEGE 08 line. I saw some this year in their COLLEGE 09 line too. They come in really cute colors and are super cheap in August ($10!) I also got my comforter there for around $20. I don’t see mine since it was on clearance last year but here’s a cute one for $30 and a cheaper one for $20 and normally the plain comforters are cheaper. There are also "Bed in a Bag" that are like $60 and it comes with everything including towels and laundry bag. So its up to you where you get it. You can get it at Ross, Walmart (I got another set of bed sheets there for like $10 in the clearance section), and Bed Bath and Beyond (their coupons never expire even if it says it does!)

Laundry bag: I've seen people with the laundry basket in their rooms and since the closet is kinda small, it doesn’t fit so all their dirty laundry is out there for everyone to see. Literally. LoL. I think it makes the room look messy and I personally don’t want my bra and panties hanging out so I opt out for the laundry bag. I just used the one my sister used in her college years which is a cloth laundry bag. My roommate had one of those fold up laundry basket things that are circular which come in cute colors and designs at Target and Walmart (I love these stores can you tell?) but hers died at the end of the year. During welcome week we also got free mesh laundry bags which I didn’t use but my roommate's ripped in like 2 months so avoid those.

Lamp: Personally, I don’t think that the main light is bright enough, especially because I lived in a triple and my roommates had the desk that was under the bunk bed so we defiantly each had our own lamp. It also comes in handy when one of you are sleeping and the rest are still studying. I actually had two lamps. One that was on my desk which I got from home and a clamp on lamp that I attached to my bunk bed. I got mine from Ikea, even though it was cheap, I personally don’t like it because it takes a long time to get brighter and its surface area is pretty small. I suggest just getting the more expensive ones because you can use it at the desk or your bunk bed. I cant find one online, but I remember seeing one at Bed Bath and Beyond for $20ish (remember to use your coupon!)

Microwave/refrigerator: although it isn't a necessity, I personally couldn’t have lived without them. A lot of the time people on my floor actually came by and used ours so it really does come in handy when it comes to drinks and leftovers (oh and the late night ice cream cravings). I had a microwave at home and my roommate had a fridge already so we didn’t have to buy it but I saw a fridge at Costco for $35 and at Target for around $40-50. And microwaves are normally around $30-40. If your college is far from your home and you don’t want to ship it over, then you can also rent it from the school (although its cheaper to buy it). P.s. your school is probably going to give you some BS about how you cant bring your own micro/fridge because they need to be environmentally friendly equipment. Ignore them. No one even cared.

Pad lock for bathroom locker: most schools provide empty lockers in the bathroom for your convenience and some people buy locks to protect their stuff. I just used the gym locker I used in high school but after the first semester, I stopped locking it at all. (who the hell is going to steal toothpaste?) You can get pad locks anywhere from Target to ACE, OSH, Home Depot, hell even the dollar store.

Door hook: although not necessity, it came in handy when drying our towels after a shower and hanging our robes. I had mine for years so I just took it from my old room but they have it at Kmart, Target, Walmart, etc.

Internet wire for LAN internet (is that what its called? ) that is at least 25 feet: ok so my dad had one at home that was like 75 feet and obviously that was tooooooo long. After that my dad found one at home that was 25 feet and I switched it and it was JUST enough. My desk was all the way on the other side of the room and I had to line the cable around the bunk beds so the 25ft rule is good. You can get this anywhere they sell computer stuff like Best Buys, Frys, and of course Target.

Multiple plug adapter with good length cord: I don’t know what these are called (sorry!) but you definitely need it because the outlets in the room are weird (especially in my room) there were four outlets on 2 walls but they were really spaced out across the wall. And eight outlets is not enough for three girls with printers, laptop chargers, phone chargers, lamps, hair curlers, strengtheners, blow dryers… you get the point.

Bulletin board/white board: can come in handy when it comes to your to do lists. Some even come as white board calendars which is nice. Or for a more chic look (we are CHIC PEA after all) try a French memo board. My roommate got hers at Ross for less than $10. They come in all sorts of colors and designs. Like this, or this, or this. Or you can make your own!

I hope this gives you a start on your dorm room shopping! Look out for those deals in August! I'm excited for you already!

A side note on school supplies like pencils, high lighters etc… look out for rebate items at Staples, Office Max, Office Depot… etc. I got highlighters, pencils, and folders for free after rebates. A lot of this stuff is given for free on campus during welcome week and events throughout the year, too!

Happy Chic Shopping!

Emma Watson, Smartie in real life too!?

Emma Watson, Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movie series, was on the David Letterman show talking about the movie, her wardrobe malfunction, and her future college plans. She is so cute, sophisticated, and mature. I researched online and Dan Radcliff accidentally told that Emma is going to be attending Brown University (DAAMMNN!) Imagine how people are going to react to her there! Good luck Emma! :)

P.S. Yay they are going to split the last book into two movies!